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flamingmuse:

nph-burtka:

Neil Patrick Harris Challenge Ice-cepted! X

I AM LAUGHING SO HARD.  Also, all four of them are THE CUTEST.

(via blackoutninja)

Source: captainswan-asyouwish
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ofgeography:

so here’s a fun story about this movie. guess who loves this movie? me! i do! i love this movie. i love this movie so much that when i was in the 7th grade and i saw “first wives club 2” on pay per view i was like: HELL YEAH!! FIRST WIVES CLUB TWO!! NO ONE TOLD ME THERE WAS A SEQUEL!!!

here’s the synopsis for first wives club 2:

disgruntled first wives take their ex-husbands’ new lovers under their wing.

sounds great, right? awesome viewing material for a precocious 11-year-old.

so i buy this movie, and like, three minutes into it i’m starting to feel suspicious?? like it’s really low quality and my girls are nowhere in sight?? how come none of the first wives are the same?? how come they’re alone in a bedroom with mood lighting?? why is she taking off her shirt?? why are they both taking off their shirts?? WHY ARE THEY—

here’s what i did not know about first wives club 2:

  • it is a lesbian porno of no relation to the beloved 1996 classic.

so of course i, horrified that i’ve accidentally bought porn on my family’s account (and in that state of panic that kids work themselves into whenever anything regarding sex is mentioned), quickly shut off the TV and go upstairs and watch an episode of veggie tales to like, cleanse my soul and apologize to jesus, and that’s that.

EXCEPT, OF COURSE:

  • you have to pay for pay per view.

so the end of the month comes and i have completely put this incident out of my mind, haha, i accidentally bought porn, how funny, TELL NO ONE. right? and i’m sitting at a nice dinner with my mother, my stepfather, and my very religious aunt deb, and we’re just talking about farm things, whatever, when suddenly my mother puts her fork down and says, “okay, there’s something we need to discuss. as a family.”

  • AS A FAMILY.

and i’m like, running through a list of people i know who could conceivably be dead, and fantasizing about my mother announcing that she’s going to buy me My Own Computer Just Because U Earned It Kiddo, and she pulls out a piece of paper that says DIRECTV across the top. and i’m like: OH NO.

"i received the tv bill today," my mother said, and i was like, shoveling potatoes into my mouth as fast as i could because i knew that when i went to PORN PRISON they weren’t going to feed me this kind of quality starch. "does anybody want to tell me who purchased the pornography?"

as a reminder, a quick table survey:

  • my mother, surprised and disappointed by the porn bill (innocent)
  • my stepfather, a grumbly old cowboy who just wants to sing along to kenny chesney and watch the hunt for red october (innocent)
  • my aunt deb, a super religious catholic whose best friend is a nun named Sister Placid (innocent)
  • me, the 11-year-old with a mouthful of potatoes who definitely purchased the lesbian pornography

silence.

my mother said, “i’m not going to ask again.”

silence.

my aunt looked at my stepdad. my stepdad looked at my aunt. NOBODY LOOKED AT ME, THE 11-YEAR-OLD WITH A MOUTHFUL OF POTATOES WHO DEFINITELY PURCHASED THE LESBIAN PORNOGRAPHY.

my mother shook her head and put the bill down. “this was incredibly inappropriate,” she said. “skip, deb, whoever. buy that shit on your own time. i’m not paying for it. what if molly had seen it?”

  • WHAT IF MOLLY HAD SEEN IT?

"don’t expose my kid to that crap."

  • DON’T
  • EXPOSE
  • MY KID
  • TO THAT CRAP

"if you want to watch porn, fine, but do it in private and don’t expect me to pay for it. i can’t believe one of you did that in the living room."

  • I CAN’T BELIEVE ONE OF YOU DID THAT
  • IN THE LIVING ROOM

but molly, why didn’t you own up to it and explain that it was an accident?

  • are you fucking kidding
  • i did not want to go to porn prison

the fun conclusion to this story is that i never owned up to it, which means that there are 3 people in the world who have not solved the mystery of the lesbian porn. a quick survey:

  • my mother, who lives every day wondering whose porn she paid for
  • my stepfather, who probably wishes he knew less about his wife’s sister’s porn preferences
  • my aunt, who probably wishes she knew less about her sister’s husband’s porn preferences

but molly, why don’t you own up to it now, with the safety of time and distance and the knowledge that porn prison isn’t real?

  • are you fucking kidding
  • this is the best thing i’ve ever done

(via himilky)

Source: bellecs
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callmekitto:

flowercrownsfor5sos:

trust-me-imadoctor:

cutebabe:

noose:

timeandspacelocked:

theperksofbeing-kate:

sexual-phan:

marinasexual:

can we just appreciate the fact that my best friend, who in the past struggled with an eating disorder, called out my gym teacher bc he says a size 3 for women is “ideal”

(((The average now for women is a size 14)))

DUDE GOD BLESS HER

I can’t tell you how happy this makes me

YOU GO GIRL!!

oh my god yes

fucking YES GIRL UR MY HERO

Reblogged so fast.  ”How dareyou?”

GURL YOU TELL THAT BITCH

wreck him, girl.

(via vongeek)

Source: mistyslay
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futurefantasticisdead:

that guy you just called sexist? he’s the CEO of a major corporation. that guy you just called racist? he’s a cop. wait hang on I’m seeing something here

(via dorkinthefreakkingdom)

Source: futurefantastic
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socialjusticekoolaid:

What they won’t show you on CNN tonight: Ferguson residents line a parade of roses down W Florissant, leading to where Mike Brown was taken from this world. #staywoke #powerful #insolidarity 

(via alwaysupernatural)

Source: socialjusticekoolaid
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hereinlife13:

These are not mine but I wanted to bring them together!  

http://tohdaryl.tumblr.com/

(via dorkinthefreakkingdom)

Source: hereinlife13

FYI

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dean-has-a-wing-kink:

castiel-knight-of-hell:

browncoatsforever:

iwannaliveindeansdimples:

When Dean says, “Dude, on my car, he showed up naked, covered in bees”, he is not saying Cas showed up on his car naked/bee-adorned. He is swearing on Baby that Cas showed up naked and covered in bees. 

This has been a PSA.

…this is life changing…

yes, baby was in storage from 7.6 Slash Fiction until the end of 7.23 Survival of the Fittest 

THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING

(via alwaysupernatural)

Source: iwannaliveindeansdimples
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eatsleepdraw:

Ḻ  Ї  €  ϟ
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"Date someone who would rather watch your favorite movie with you then go to a party on Friday night. Date someone who will share their food with you even though you said you didn’t want any. Date someone who will warm your hands in the winter and kiss your pink nose. Date someone who will text you they love you at 2am and at 9pm. Date someone who will let you change the station in the car when they’re driving. Date someone who can make you smile when you would rather die. Date someone who makes your insides feel like you’ve just downed a bottle of vodka. Date someone who makes you better."

- Unknown (via hefuckin)

(via justinisnotsxe)

Source: jessielou24
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wordsmatty:

awaitingthegreatcollapse:

Neither nudity nor touch are fundamentally sexual. I have recently been thinking about how awkward people seem to be; correction; how awkward society teaches people to be, around their own bodies. Sometimes my nipples itch. Sometimes my crutch itches. And I should be just as comfortable scratching my breast as I would be scratching my arm. There is nothing dirty or weird about touching your own body. It’s yours, you can do what you please with it.

Both nudity and touch should be seen as the natural thing they are. However, I have a feeling tumblr won’t agree, so this probably won’t stay up for too long. Anywho, here’s me touching my body. Not because I’m horny, not to make someone else horny, but because I like touching my body.

I absolutely love this post. I can’t articulate why, but that doesn’t really matter, does it?
Source: awaitingthegreatcollapse
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ruenatalia:

Favorite TV Characters: Mindy Lahiri, The Mindy Project

(via dorkinthefreakkingdom)

Source: ruenatalia
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